Sunday, March 15, 2015

How Matthew McConaughey Comforted Me About Mama's Death

Mama was still with us this time last year.

Three months later, she breathed her last. And my heart broke into a million tiny pieces. Her death has bore a hole in my soul that is in the shape of her.

Time has a way of healing a broken heart. Even a heart obliterated by the death of a loved one.
One finds comfort in people and places and prayer. One finds comfort in the thought that she no longer suffers.

One finds comfort in unusual places too.  I did, recently, in the HBO mini-series, True Detective -
starring Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson as partners assigned to track down a serial killer in a dusty Louisiana town.

Matthew McConaughey's character, Rust, is recovering from a near-fatal stab wound in a hospital. Woody Harrelson is Marty. He is present when Rust wakes up from his coma.

This is how their conversation goes:

Rust
Ah, I shouldn't even fuckin' be here, Marty.

Marty
I believe 'no shit' is the proper response to that observation.

Rust 
No, I don't mean like that. It's something else.

Marty
Well, so talk to me, Rust.

Rust
There was a moment - I know when I was under in the dark that something, whatever I'd been reduced to, you know, not even consciousness. It was a vague awareness in the dark, and I could - I could feel my definitions fading.

And beneath that darkness, there was another kind.

It was - it was deeper, warm, you know, like a substance.

I could feel, man, and I know, I knew my daughter waited for me there. So clear. I could feel her.  I could feel, I could feel a piece of my - my pop too.

It was like I was part of everything that I ever loved, and were were all the three of us, just fadin' out. And all I had to to was let go. And I did. I said, "Darkness, yeah, yeah..."

And I disappeared.

But I could - I could still feel her love there, even more than before.

Nothing. There was nothing there but that love.

*   *  *

Born and lived to love, died in love. That's you, Mama. I love you forever.






4 comments:

Tala said...

Wow. That's beautiful. Hugs dear.

wins said...

<3 <3 <3

*A-and-a* said...

I hear ya, Love. ♡♡♡

*A-and-a* said...

I hear ya, Love. ♡♡♡