You can choose to be a victim of your circumstances or you can choose to rise above it. Rising above does not mean getting out. It means being in control of your thoughts, words and actions so they do not feed the unpleasant situation.
It means being accountable for everything that you do. It means finding a solution, not dwelling on the problem. It means blooming amidst the wasteland.
Going out of your comfort zone does not only mean exploring distant horizons. It means facing the demons and darkness of the present and fighting it with patience, integrity and kindness.
Stretch yourself. Do not allow yourself to curl into a ball of unfulfilled dreams and regrets. Choose to be happy.
Friday, January 27, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Big 3-Oh Thoughts (or What I Learned From My 20s)
What I like about turning 30 is that I'm starting to let go of the neurotic urge to be liked by everyone. More and more, I am finding my voice and I speak my mind with more conviction. I have grown comfortable in my own skin and I know what fits, what looks good, what makes me glow.
I remember being angsty as a kid, not in an angry, screw-you-world kind of way but in an existential crisis kind of way - always searching, always asking : Who am I? Where am I going? I seemed to be in a constant state of identity crisis from the time I was 14 until all the way through my early to mid-20s.
I owe a lot to my 20's. I think it is my experiences as a twenty-something that have shaped most of who I am today. I played that decade with a bit of recklessness and lowered inhibitions especially when it came to men I was attracted to. (The 'a bit' part may be subject to debate, but I digress.) Three jobs in eight years have led me to places and people and have cosmically steered me to certain directions, both professional and personal. I developed wanderlust as I took quite a number of trips in and out of the country and saw for myself how truly awesome the world is. It was in my 20's when I learned to like my looks and get over certain physical insecurities. I stretched my body, mind and soul as I explored surfing, scuba diving, running, mountain biking, yoga - which eventually led me to consciously pursue physical fitness. I said goodbye to cigarettes forever a few months shy of my 30th birthday.
In my 20's I learned that life is a cycle of introspection and action. I learned that there is a time to love, to lose, to gain, to give away, to grieve, to surrender, to accept, to speak up, to be silent, to move, to be still.
It's not only the experiences which have molded me, but the people who make up my circle of support and unconditional love - namely, my family and my core group of fantastic female friends. This journey is a joy because of them.
Needless to say, one of the greatest gifts of my 20's is meeting G.A. It's funny how you're fine and fabulous one day, and then one person comes along and suddenly, you can't imagine life without him. He is my partner, my riding buddy and coach, my confidante, my comic relief, my breathing space, and my best friend.
Turning 30 does feel like a milestone. It's not the age, per se, that makes it so, but the celebration of a decade that has crystallized my identity as an adult. Not to say that I have it all figured out. The wisdom I've gained from my 20's is that I don't need to know all the answers. But from here I can see the dots of my life connecting and that it is still unfolding. It's going to be beautiful. It already is.
I remember being angsty as a kid, not in an angry, screw-you-world kind of way but in an existential crisis kind of way - always searching, always asking : Who am I? Where am I going? I seemed to be in a constant state of identity crisis from the time I was 14 until all the way through my early to mid-20s.
I owe a lot to my 20's. I think it is my experiences as a twenty-something that have shaped most of who I am today. I played that decade with a bit of recklessness and lowered inhibitions especially when it came to men I was attracted to. (The 'a bit' part may be subject to debate, but I digress.) Three jobs in eight years have led me to places and people and have cosmically steered me to certain directions, both professional and personal. I developed wanderlust as I took quite a number of trips in and out of the country and saw for myself how truly awesome the world is. It was in my 20's when I learned to like my looks and get over certain physical insecurities. I stretched my body, mind and soul as I explored surfing, scuba diving, running, mountain biking, yoga - which eventually led me to consciously pursue physical fitness. I said goodbye to cigarettes forever a few months shy of my 30th birthday.
In my 20's I learned that life is a cycle of introspection and action. I learned that there is a time to love, to lose, to gain, to give away, to grieve, to surrender, to accept, to speak up, to be silent, to move, to be still.
It's not only the experiences which have molded me, but the people who make up my circle of support and unconditional love - namely, my family and my core group of fantastic female friends. This journey is a joy because of them.
Needless to say, one of the greatest gifts of my 20's is meeting G.A. It's funny how you're fine and fabulous one day, and then one person comes along and suddenly, you can't imagine life without him. He is my partner, my riding buddy and coach, my confidante, my comic relief, my breathing space, and my best friend.
Turning 30 does feel like a milestone. It's not the age, per se, that makes it so, but the celebration of a decade that has crystallized my identity as an adult. Not to say that I have it all figured out. The wisdom I've gained from my 20's is that I don't need to know all the answers. But from here I can see the dots of my life connecting and that it is still unfolding. It's going to be beautiful. It already is.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Growing Gains
The grace and gift of growing older is that you start to realize what really matters in life and you have little tolerance for bullsh*t. You speak with conviction about your beliefs.You become more comfortable in your own skin, and there are only minute traces of the insecurities of your adolescence. You are a little bit more fearless - because you've hurdled the aches and pains of young adulthood and you survived. It doesn't mean life gets easier - for there are bigger crossroads along the way - but in a way, it becomes simpler, because you have a firm grasp of your anchors and what's important to you.
Much is to be gained by growing older. The dots of your past start to connect and make sense and life becomes richer.
Much is to be gained by growing older. The dots of your past start to connect and make sense and life becomes richer.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Retroblog | What I Wrote On This Day in 2009
Sunday, January 18, 2009
What It Means To Be A Grown Up
It means knowing the difference between self-indulgence and self-love.
It means knowing that sometimes you have to deny yourself fleeting pleasures and delay gratification...because a loftier joy awaits.
It means knowing when to say 'No'.
It doesn't mean being all square and stuffy.
It doesn't mean forgetting how to make things fun.
It means knowing that sometimes you have to deny yourself fleeting pleasures and delay gratification...because a loftier joy awaits.
It means knowing when to say 'No'.
It doesn't mean being all square and stuffy.
It doesn't mean forgetting how to make things fun.
Still holds true for me today. :)
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
On Brokenness
If I feel the need to show people that I am a-ok, that I am super, that I am just fabulous, then there's something broken inside.
When I am chronically afraid of rejection, of failure, of letting go (of inhibitions, possessions, habits), of the unknown, there's something broken inside.
When I find myself falling into patterns of thought, words and behavior that do harm to me and others, there's something broken inside.
How do I fix what's broken? First I acknowledge and then ...
I forgive: Myself and those who have hurt me intentionally or otherwise
I accept: The truth and make no excuses. Who I am - warts and all.
I surrender: Control over circumstances and people.
For when I am whole, I accept my imperfections and understand that it's okay to feel sad and lonely and unattractive sometimes.
For wholeness means I do not need affirmation from people and things to know and feel my worth. Being whole means knowing that failure and rejection do not make me less worthy.
For when I am whole, I seek what is good for all.
When I am chronically afraid of rejection, of failure, of letting go (of inhibitions, possessions, habits), of the unknown, there's something broken inside.
When I find myself falling into patterns of thought, words and behavior that do harm to me and others, there's something broken inside.
How do I fix what's broken? First I acknowledge and then ...
I forgive: Myself and those who have hurt me intentionally or otherwise
I accept: The truth and make no excuses. Who I am - warts and all.
I surrender: Control over circumstances and people.
For when I am whole, I accept my imperfections and understand that it's okay to feel sad and lonely and unattractive sometimes.
For wholeness means I do not need affirmation from people and things to know and feel my worth. Being whole means knowing that failure and rejection do not make me less worthy.
For when I am whole, I seek what is good for all.
Sunday, January 08, 2012
Creativity Challenge Day 30 | In With the New
 |
| I want to hit the ground running this year! |
The final post for the 30-Day Creativity Challenge. My first post for the year. :)
Wrapping up The Challenge
Doing the Challenge was FUN! So yeah, it wasn't done in 30 consecutive days like I originally intended, but it has been completed.:) I think I'm gonna keep posting drawings on my blog - as long as the inspiration comes.
Wrapping up The Year That Was
The ushering of a new year calls for retrospection. 2011 was the year I...
- Celebrated my 29th birthday in Batad with my kindred spirits and soul sisters.
- Ran my first full marathon.
- Saw a little bit more of the world with G-third as we walked the streets of Ho Chi Minh, marveled at the temples of Siem Reap and hung out at the backpacker district of Bangkok.
- Joined the XTERRA Duathlon with my best friend W, and had an unfortunate bike breakdown
- Learned something new : art lessons and yoga. (Both of which I intend to pursue still)
- Kicked an unhealthy habit, finally : goodbye cigarettes
- Rode Becky on the trails of La Mesa, Maarat and Kota Kinabalu
- Struggled and wrestled with expectations, judgements and inner demons and came out enlightened through heartfelt conversations and quiet reflection.
~ ~ ~
This Year...
- I pray for wisdom, courage, serenity, patience, kindness and temperance.
- I will continue to listen to the stirrings of my soul, sing to the tune of my heartsong and march to my own drumbeat.
- I will declutter (my space, my mind, my heart) and keep things simple.
~~~
Two virtues I will strive to live by..
Corragio et Amore.
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