Wednesday, October 31, 2012

From C to the Big G

One would think that being in a relationship with a non-believer would create a distance between us.

Au contraire.

Being in this situation has compelled me to search and ask the hard questions. Who are You and why do You matter?

As I sought for answers, I distanced myself from Your place of worship. But You are relentless.

Even as I ceased to regularly participate in the rituals of liturgy, I found myself turning to You in recent dark moments. You found Your way to me.

And in the silence of that small chapel, I listened. And You spoke. You said You loved me.  You said you loved my NB, just as much as you love those who have grown to know You. You said that I should stop being hard on myself. You assured me that every ebb and flow of emotions and every stirring of my soul is You speaking to me, working in me. You said that you desire Fullness of Life for me.

You said to let go of my fears and assumptions. You said, Trust Me.

I pray for the grace to do just that.

This morning, again, You spoke to me through my playlist.  I've been feeling disconnected and stuck at work, and anxious about the crossroads I will be facing in the near future, and through Danny O'Donoghue's words and music, You sang to me,

I'll leave the door on the latch
If you ever come back if you ever come back
There'll be a light in the hall and a key under the mat
If you ever come back
There'll be a smile on my face and the kettle on
And it will be just like you were never gone
There'll be a light in the hall and a key under the mat
If you ever come back if you ever come back now


It was the very first song that played on Shuffle mode, and it washed over me like a gentle breeze- pleasant and soothing. It felt like You were telling me that You know what a restless creature I am, but wherever I am, wherever I go, wherever my soul stirrings take me, You will always be Home.





No comments: