Wednesday, June 27, 2012

The Zen Minion | A Recurring Sadness

Yesterday was not a good day for this minion.

In the midst of the busy-ness of preparing for training sessions and editing and revising modules, I  found myself stopping and wondering, "Am I really doing something of value? How is this making a difference?" 

I was inclined to think that the answer was No. All I could see was the disparity between what I say in my sessions and the reality of the workplace. All I could feel was disappointment and disillusionment at certain authority figures whose brand of leadership fail to inspire and enlighten. The fact that I spend a majority of my waking hours in these conditions really bummed me out for the rest of the day.

What am I looking for? Why this recurring sadness?

I think at the very core is a disconnect between my authentic self and my work. Skills-wise, I am perfect for this job. Fire-in-the-belly-wise? I am not so sure. 

Burdened by the weight of my sadness, I turned to friends who offered me words of consolation. 

B. said: 

1) Hold on to the things that make you feel happy at work.
2) Count your blessings.
3) Know that you are EXACTLY where you are supposed to be.

T. said:

1) Plough on. It will go away.
2) Give yourself something to dream of, or build up. Take on a project!

P. said she was glad that I:

1) Always  have the drive to contribute to the value of the company
2)  Frame and re-frame and remain strong even with recurring issues.

Thank you, my lovely soul sisters. :)

Today, I am feeling much better.   At the end of the day, it's not what I do but who I become that will determine my happiness. This recurring sadness will not get the best of me and break my spirit.  I will embrace it, not escape it. It has lessons to teach, and I believe it will ultimately lead me to things that will make my heart sing.

1 comment:

wins said...

W says:

1. God is as involved in your life right now as He is during better days, dontchaworry! :)